Brand New Sunshine

by - January 15, 2018

Is it the same or is there any other sun which will shine on the other day? As far as I know, there is only one sun exist in the solar system, but somehow it brings different colors and vibes everyday. It's been the 15th day of 2018 and my 5th month of living temporarily in Japan. A lot of life-changing experiences happened during these past few months which were exciting and draining at the same time. It feels like the hell of a ride, sometimes, but I do enjoy it eventually. Everything changes very quickly that I vaguely remember every single details of it, it just happened one day and a complete different thing happened on the other day.

In this stage of life, I started to reckon how many changes I made and how far do I grow to be a person, whether every decision I made for the past years has its significance towards my future goals. I do make plans in life, but I feel like 2017 was actually far beyond my planning, not even in my imagination, especially the living in Japan part. I never expected to live my own life, not yet. I was supposed to struggle with my bachelor thesis, do a lot of research and write a bunch of shit so that I can graduate as soon as possible. Well, impulsive decisions make you a little more alive, somehow and I realized that decisions you make every day will guide you to a different stage of your life, whether or not you expect it to be. My ambition to come to Japan as an exchange student give me a longer time to finally realize what I really want to do in the future. I can finalized my targets for the upcoming post-graduation year and details everything I need to prepare for that. Though at some point it became a burden for my parents, some family member and even for myself, I notice that right after I come back to my safe-zone, I knew that I've grown a lot more that I wanted.

Living here, meeting many people teach me how to cherish the moment and make every second of it worthwhile. You have no chance to replay or even rewind the moment. You have rights to choose your priority, which activities you want to do, which people you want to hang out. I realized that I can't just say yes to every options, but I have to decide, be precise and firm to your own stance in order to be attractive and interesting. Meanwhile, I also need to let go of things easily. Don't over impose things beyond your control to be happened because once you don't have access to it, you can't control it. It might just not meant to be yours or not meant to be the part of your experience. Just go with the flow, you are allowed to make targets but just let it be a guidance. Don't overthink to much.
I compare myself to people I met and I realize I need to keep up with them, in terms of hobbies, interest towards one specific things, knowledge, perspective, and fundamental of life. 2018 has to be another turning point of my whole life, determinant to my goals while enjoying the ride without any barriers or expectations. The sun I see today might be the same as the one I saw yesterday and the one I will see tomorrow, but who I am today will be better than who I was then and will be improved tomorrow.

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