carpe diem

(Kumpulan puisi M. Aan Mansyur - Tidak Ada New York Hari Ini)

I'm still capturing the moment when I decided to upload this picture on my instagram feed. That was the day when I gave back all my trust to someone who lose it. Unfortunately, everything came to an end, as what I imagined from the very beginning. 

This evening, I am distracted by all boundaries and walls that I built for the past few months. It turned into debris by only a single call, which actually means nothing. I am lost, I am insane, but I know that everything will never be the same as it used to be. 

Even so, I hope that we can grow through what we gone through. Forget about those cheesy pinky promise 'cause it will when it meant to be.

Takarazuka, 01/10/2017. 

Few days ago, one of my senior in junior highschool passed away after battling for cancer since probably last year (if I'm not mistaken). I wasn't really close to her, never even talk to her face to face, but I knew her condition, from her mother who is also my family doctor, when did she first figure out about it and how she managed to continue her life with treatments. Even it may looks a little inappropriate to retell her stories, her spirit and her passion really inspires me in facing any kinds of problem that could even take your life forever.

Moment of her death made me reflect about myself personally. As a Christian, I believe on the life after death which determined by your acts in life. Then, what goods I have done for 20 years living my life? Am I good enough to be the one placed in heaven? Am I ready to face the death? What will I do if such condition happens to me?

I salute her for being so brave and tranquility to face the death despite the fears she felt. I learn to respect my life more and do more good to people because we will never know when will we die. By doing so, I believe that on the day, I will die peacefully, as a blessing for other people, and become one of those beautiful flowers which picked first.