"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hopes for." - Epicurus
Many unexpected things came to me when I think that this must be a worst ending for 2014, and even 2015, but it's not. I thought that I will be ungrateful for the rest of the year, but thank God it doesn't happen to me right now. Something big just hit me and make me blushing everytime I remember it. Recently, I become more grateful for what I have now, and I can even sleep tightly last night. God gives the perfect answer at the right time, I mean it.
Been a whole three semester I kept worrying about my future because I thought that what I got is not what I really want before, and it means that I can't guarantee my bright future. I went through the whole semester heavy-hearted, with less expectation of the final result. How to leave, how to escape from those shitty things are the only thing exsist in my mind for a half year. Many things make my disappointment bigger than before. Many things make me believe that I doesn't belong here. Many things make me feel like it doesn't suit me in any ways. Unexcited about anything is my thing recently.
Despite all of my disappointments I keep inside my heart, my other side said that I'm not supposed to have another disappointment. So I unconsciously keep encouraging myself that there are many ways available to go to your destination. It is always fine to fail at some points but you can gain more at the others. I work hard and harder everytime, doing everthing to the maximum level, and even chasing everything I've been missing before. It was hard, for sure. But in fact, I keep doing it. I keep doing everything that I think doesn't suit me. I force myself to be drowned and pretend that I love what I'm learning now, politics.